Buttered Ex-Boyfriend Bagel With Bacon

Whipped cream cheese spreads in generous, uneven swoops.

There are recipes you inherit. There are recipes you discover. And then there are recipes you have to emotionally excavate from someone you no longer speak to.

The viral Korean Ex-Boyfriend Toast entered the internet canon in 2018 with all the drama of a soft-launched situationship: a woman texting her former partner not for closure, not for reconciliation, but for instructions on how to recreate a deeply comforting treat. It was proof that love may fade, but cream cheese ratios are forever.

This version upgrades the memory. Toast is replaced with a blueberry bagel, already flirting with chaos. Butter melts into the crumb. Whipped cream cheese spreads in generous, uneven swoops. St. Dalfour blueberry preserves bring sweetness. Crisp bacon slices arrive late to the party and immediately take over the music. Wrapped briefly in foil, the whole situation softens into something warm, sticky, and unreasonable.

It is a sandwich built on conflicting instincts: indulgence and restraint, nostalgia and progress, fruit and pork. It asks very little of you except the willingness to assemble it and perhaps reflect on who first showed you how to crave it.

Indulgence and restraint, nostalgia and progress, fruit and pork.

The Recipe

Makes 1 serving.

Ingredients

• 1 blueberry bagel, split

• 1 Tbsp softened butter

• 2–3 Tbsp whipped cream cheese

• 1–2 Tbsp St. Dalfour blueberry preserves

• 3–4 slices crisp cooked bacon

Directions

1. Toast the bagel
   Toast the bagel halves until lightly golden and warm all the way through.

2. Butter generously.
   Spread the softened butter over both halves so it melts into the crumb.

3. Layer the fillings.
   Smear whipped cream cheese across one or both halves. Spoon over the blueberry preserves, letting them settle into the cream cheese. Arrange the crisp bacon slices on top.

4. Melt slightly.
   If desired, close the bagel and wrap loosely in foil. Let it rest for 3–5 minutes so the fillings warm and soften together.

Serve

Slice in half and eat immediately while contemplating personal growth.