Lord Lobster Cheddar Biscuits
S2 E2: The Last Supper
Bless the Harts, 2021.
Picture this: a banner day in Greenpoint, North Carolina, home of proud underdogs, poorly patched pavement, and a startlingly high number of adult men named Randy.
Yes, we’re back in the beloved, barely-holding-it-together universe of Bless the Harts, where existential threats often arrive with dipping sauces.
In “The Last Supper,” Season 2’s gloriously chaotic second episode, the town faces an enemy more fearsome than Betty Hart with a cordless mic: Lord Lobster, a seafood chain so powerful its cheddar biscuits practically glisten with corporate malevolence. With promises of langoustine pizza, buttery Mariner’s Platters, and parking lot curb appeal, this crustacean colossus threatens to sail into town with all the subtlety of a red-shelled Death Star.
Naturally, the locals panic. Greenpoint’s beloved Last Supper restaurant, a beacon of fried catfish and code violations, is suddenly at risk of being out-breaded and battered. Enter Jenny Hart, waitress turned reluctant auteur, who’s tasked with creating a low-budget commercial to showcase the soul of the Last Supper and, hopefully, save the town from gastronomic gentrification.
What follows is a perfect storm of regional theater, tactical sunburns, emotional breakdowns, lute solos, and catsuits. Jenny’s attempt at directing the commercial quickly devolves into an amateur circus, featuring every resident of Greenpoint desperate for screen time and/or interpretive dance. Ian David Cole (of local community theater legend fame) brandishes a real gun. Someone may have pooped their "tuck." The mayor insists on a ballad. The biscuits, somehow, remain undefeated.
And just when all hope seems lost, when Jenny, having screamed into a walk-in freezer, publicly denounces the entire town as “butts”, her daughter Violet, budding documentarian and keeper of rogue footage, delivers a last-minute miracle: a stitched-together, technically disastrous but emotionally authentic commercial that captures the very essence of Greenpoint weirdness.
Spoiler: it works. Kind of. Not because the commercial was good (it wasn’t), but because Lord Lobster’s corporate empire collapses under the weight of a scandal so dark even their cheddar biscuits can’t butter over it.
Produced during Season 1 but aired in Season 2, “The Last Supper” carries a few continuity breadcrumbs for the faithful, including Wayne’s ill-fated ostrich adventures and the town’s near-pathological need for attention. Under the ever-savvy guidance of creator Emily Spivey and executive producers Phil Lord and Christopher Miller, the episode marries Southern-fried absurdity with razor-sharp satire on late-capitalist dining culture. It’s one part church social, one part regional ad buy fever dream, and all heart.
So pull up a plastic chair, pour yourself a sweet tea, and prepare to be serenaded by a town that refuses to be out-sauced. You’ll laugh. You’ll wince. And yes, you’ll want those damn biscuits.
Make it! Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits from Damn Delicious.