Old-Fashioned Buttermilk Griddlecakes
S4 E14: High Anxiety
King of the Hill, 1997.
We open mid-crisis, mid-plot, mid-murder. Debbie Grund is dead, Sugarfoot’s is under new management (that management being one Peggy Hill, accidental restauranteur and maker of old-fashioned buttermilk griddlecakes), and Hank Hill has just inhaled a single, accidental puff of the chronic from Mexico. Thus begins one of King of the Hill’s most ambitious arcs: a two-parter where Hank is implicated in both drug use and homicide, two things, you may recall, that are strictly forbidden in Arlen, Texas, and possibly in propane culture at large.
"High Anxiety" is a spiral. A Texan-fried noir with griddlecake grease smudging the edges. It’s a comedy of errors soaked in mesquite smoke and guilt sweat. Buck Strickland, the walking HR violation with a bolo tie, has lost his mistress and may lose his business. Peggy has gained a restaurant and a set of pearls too big for the occasion. Hank, bless him, has lost his mind.
The catalyst is Gale, Debbie’s roommate, possibly a roadie for the Doobie Brothers, certainly a man with hair down to his butt crack—who offers Hank a joint disguised as a cigarette. Hank, a man who fears misaligned lawn stripes more than death, takes a single hit and proceeds to spiral into what he believes to be marijuana psychosis. He tries to vomit the devil weed from his system. He walks home rather than drive, highly suspicious behavior in Heimlich County. And, because this is Hank Hill, he refuses to tell anyone what actually happened, even as evidence piles up like propane tanks during a Fourth of July sale.
Meanwhile, the sheriff arrives at the Hill home sniffing for clues but smelling flapjacks instead. As the accusations mount, so does the dramatic irony.
But then, twist! Debbie Grund killed herself. Accidentally. With a shotgun. While juggling nachos and a Big Gulp in a dumpster. It’s absurd, it’s tragic, it’s Texas.
Over plates of barbecue and smoky burgers, Hank finally confesses: he did, in fact, smoke pot. Just once. By accident. To save Gale from wrongful imprisonment, Hank breaks through his own shame and tells the truth, causing jaws to drop like flyballs at a Rangers game. It’s a rare moment of nobility powered by low-grade panic and fatherly guilt.
"High Anxiety" is a satire masquerading as a murder mystery. It’s a story where the real victim is common sense, and the real killer is convenience store snack logistics. But it’s also a poignant moment in the Hill household. Hank, for all his rigidity, proves he’d rather be shamed than dishonest. And Bobby? Bobby learns the sweet taste of power, banning his father from lawn-mowing in a reversal worthy of King Lear, if Lear had a riding mower and a neighbor named Kahn.